We like to think of ourselves as people that create problems and then at least try to fix them, too.
The Penguins' P.A. announcer, Ryan Mill, has been under fire from his first day on the job.
Replacing a legend like John Barbero has proven to be very difficult.
Paul Steigerwald catches flak, also, because he has replaced another legend, Mike Lange, on TV broadcasts.
So, why all the Ryan Mill hatred?
Well, to speak frankly, we had always held out hope that John Barbero would return better than ever.
John Barbero was part of our childhood and part of our entire existence.
We'd score some goal in our driveway and imitate him announcing our name.
But now Ryan Mill has elbowed his way into everything.
It's like coming home from a long day at work and some joke yelling in your ear nonstop.
Going to Pens games is our escape.
Coupled with a brand-new arena, Ryan Mill's voice may actually scare you a little bit.
With all this being said, we are probably stuck with Ryan Mill.
He has gone to vowel-stretching classes for this.
So, how can Ryan Mill endear himself to fans?
10. Turn villian. Maybe people wouldn't like him more, but they would fear him.
Mike Richards scores a big goal.
"YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. Mike Richardssssssssssss fagggggssssss."
9. Casually swear while announcing various things.
"Hey, fans, let's welcome the fucking zamboni onto the ice brought to you by the US Army."
8. Mess with opposing players. Alex Semin comes in all alone on Fleury.
Just as he reaches the circles, you just hear Ryan Mill scream: "Things that make you go unhhhhhhhhhh."
7. Start to critique fans in the stands. He already does this, adding a creepo factor to the Kiss Cam. He could pan the crowd and then target unsuspecting fans. "Look, everyone. A chinese guy and a pretty blond woman. How do you spell hooker?"
6. He could stop addressing us as "fans" before everything he says. Just a thought.
5. Hitting on girls in the stands. "Hey, girl with the low-cut top in section 203.
How about you ditch that loser in the Rico Fata jersey and come up here. skank."
4. Accidentally on purpose leave his microphone on while he's ripping David Morehouse.
3. Refuse to announce goals scored by the other team.
2. Go rogue and start sponsoring everything during the games:
1. Quit and appoint Morgan Freeman as his successor.