boobs
With people falling over themselves trying to christen the CONSOL Energy Center with some hip nickname, we tend to lean the other way and contemplate shooting ourselves.
We'll just start calling it something dumb in recaps because we don't want to type out CONSOL Energy Center every day.
f that.
If the hip nickname isn't in the lexicon by now, it never will be.
Some nicknames that have been circulated:
-- The Con
-- The Fuse Box
-- The Power Plant
-- The Ice Box
-- The Anus
Hypothetical situation #1:
MAN #1: What's up? Where you going tonight?
MAN #2: Heading down to the CONSOL Energy Center to watch a hockey contest.
Hypothetical situation #2:
MAN #1: What's up? Where you going tonight?
MAN #2: Heading down to the anus for the Pens game.
Hypothetical situation #3:
MAN #1: I want some grape drink.
MAN #2: Don't go to The Power Plant, then. They only sell RC stuff.
Hypothetical situation #4:
MAN #1: Yo, you heading down to the Fuse Box for the Pens game tonight?
MAN #2: Wow. You're gay.
Got us thinking.
Here are some arena nicknames from around the NHL:
The Shark Tank. Best one in the NHL.
The Pond. Yeah, that works.
Used to be called General Motors Place.
Nickname was The Garage.
Pepsi Center. The Can.
Philips Arena. The Bulb. dumb.
The Joe. Yeah.
The Phone Booth. Verizon Center.
There's a whole bunch more on the Wiki page.
Did you notice the two best nicknames in that short list above?
The Shark Tank and The Pond. Why?
Because it directly correlates with the team name and has nothing to do with arena's naming rights.
Makes you realize how great the Civic Arena was.
It was the igloo. It was shaped like an igloo. Penguins played there.
It could not have been more perfect.
Even when Mellon acquired the naming rights, the building still resembled a melon.
But now the Pens play in a Costco.
Don't remember seeing penguins walking around doing shit last time we were at a Costco.
So, if you want the CONSOL Energy Center to have a nickname come Hell or high water,
save your entire family the embarrassment and associate it with penguins and not the sponsor.