We've used the phrase, and we've heard a bunch of other people say it too: the Pens are scary good.
The Pens are murdering clown chasing you with Michael Myers riding shotgun and a giant man-eating spider in the back seat waiting to take you to the secret cave of the Quaker Oats man scary. And this is without arguably their best player.
The Pens came out in the first period, and it was basically like that episode of MacGyver when an avalanche buried him. MacGyver did some unreal move, was able to find a hole to the surface, and used some kind of straw to blow a parachute out above the snow so people knew where he was. The Penguins performed the ice-hockey equivalent of that during the second half of this game, except they didn't go to a gay bar after.
The game was entertaining the whole way through. The Avs have a good load of talent, but they're for whatever reason not making any headway in the Western Conference. Matt Duchene and EvgeniMalkin went toe-to-toe with the two best goals we've seen this year during a Pens game.
Pens are heading to Tampa Bay Thursday. Crosby is emo and probably won't come back on the road, so we can count out Thursday night's game.
Read more for the recap...
Malkin almost scores on the first shot of the game. Goes coast to coast and hits the pipe. Pucks not going in for Malkin makes less sense than masturbating to a Taylor Swift CD.
Tyler Kennedy was back on the ice. Good to see.
Asham and McLeod drop the gloves. Asham draws some blood and quietly goes to the box.
Great action early. Avs were still one or two steps behind the Pens. First whistle came when Orpik was dead-tired at the end of a shift and misplayed a puck behind MAF. TJGaliardi boards him. Probably didn't want to.
Pens didn't get much on the first minute of that, then Ryan O'Byrne took down Cooke, so the Pens had a 5-on-3 for like 50 seconds. Pens just couldn't get any of the shots they wanted. All killed. It was an early turning point in the game.
Great action continued after those penalties. With about 5 minutes left, some guy for Colorado scored off a rebound. 1-0. And then, boom, it was 2-0. Matt Duchene put on a show after accepting a pass from behind the net.
Orpik's balls may still be hurting.
That first intermission was going to be pure piss. But then Jordan Staal finishes off a solid period by beating good ol' Varly.
Kennedy-Staal-Cooke on that shift. 2-1.
Davy Jones challenges Paul Martin to a dance and embarrasses him. He beats Martin and snipes MAF. 3-1. The intermission was back to being
Avalanche almost made it like 7-1 early in the second, but MAF made some saves. So did the post. Jordan Staal put the Pens on the powerplay when O'Byrne jobbed him. After a stoppage in play when a Pens fan broke a pane of glass while trying to kill himself, the Pens jumped on that PP. Killed.
Matt Duchene had a semi-breakaway, but Orpik defended it to a T. Was expecting a penalty there. Underrated play by Orpik. Won't show up in the box score.
Letangdeked on an Av so hard, some guy flew into the board. Unreal. This may have happened in the first period. Who cares.
The Pens started waking up halfway through the second. Every line started generating chances. They got one past Varly. Dupuis scrapping.
3-2. Good non-whistle by the refs.
Pens were buzzing after that. Neal was in Macho Man mode. Sully-Malkin-Neal has become pretty much a guaranteed scoring chance every shift. It's really amazing. Things calmed when Neal went off for a trip. Top PP unit against top PK unit. It was WrestleMania III. Pens kill it without much of a scare.
Pens jumped back on the attack after that kill. Sullivan almost out-waited Varly and put one past him. Huge save.
The Avs started pushing back, and that was the end of the second. Great bounceback period for the Pens.
Pens didn't waste any time. Malkin made a great outlet pass to James Neal. Usually we see Malkin try to break through the entire defense. The outlet pass pays off, as the puck finds Malkin after Neal carried it into the zone. Geno drops to Orpik. Harmless shot on net hits some guy's foot and bounces off some guy into the net. No clue. 3-3.
The Avs were reeling. Kunitz almost scored on the Kunitz Goal™ from the Carolina game.
The Pens wouldn't be denied. Malkin and Neal hook up again. Neal dishes to Malkin, and then Gabriel Landeskog has his "welcome to the NHL" moment. For about 0.3 seconds, Landeskog thought he was going to break up the play. Malkin had other ideas. He one-touched the puck through Landeskog's legs and then made Varly look like an idiot.