ANALYSIS: How Not To Win Ever Again
How embarrassing is it for the Penguin organization that this is on the front page of their website:
That link takes you to yet another bizarre anti-Malkin column by Rob shitstain Rossi.
We're confused: Since when is it okay for beat writers to write opinion pieces?
Before we get to the column, let's take a look at the video Rossi released on Al-Jazeera a few days ago.
The video, which Rossi says is supposed to show him and Malkin interacting, actually is more about Rossi talking about himself. We believe he actually takes credit for Malkin winning the Conn Smythe last year at some point.
In the Sunday paper today, Rossi calls for an immediate trading of Evgeni Malkin.
But this is okay, though, since he and Malkin are tight.
According to Rossi, here's how the Pens "win it all" next season:
So many defenses to this:
-- Everyone wants to play stats when it comes to Malkin. "Well, he had 40 points fewer points."
Here is another stat:
Jordan Staal: 168 career points.
Evgeni Malkin: 381 career points.
Vomit.
Evgeni Malkin: 381 career points.
Vomit.
-- More: In their four years together, Malkin has outscored Crosby as many times as Crosby has outscored Malkin. In fact, based on stats and MVP nominations Malkin outplayed Crosby in 2007-08 and 2008-09: Went to the Finals or something in those two seasons.
-- Malkin played in only 67 games and scored 77 points. He averaged 1.15 points per game.
If he played in all 82 games, he has somewhere around 90 points.
We broke this down earlier this season:
Out of Sykora's 37 points ('08-'09), 21 of those points were with Malkin.
That stat was through just 50 games.
So, had Malkin played 82 games, add 20 more points...
-- Instead of trading Malkin, shouldn't calls be made for getting Malkin some other linemates?
His linemates this past season were shit.
Shero took a gamble on this late in the season. He traded for Poni. Didn't work.
His linemates this past season were shit.
Shero took a gamble on this late in the season. He traded for Poni. Didn't work.
-- And since we're on the topic, Gonchar may not be back.
Malkin doesn't have anyone to play with.
Maybe Shero trading Malkin isn't what we need to worry about.
Maybe Geno will be the one asking for a trade.
-- And, Jesus, what is all the talk about the Penguins having a three-year window to win a Cup if they hold onto Geno, Sid, and Staal? We aren't ignoring that the Penguins have a salary cap to deal with. 20 other NHL teams can only DREAM of having this "problem" that Rossi thinks the Pens have.
-- Best part of the Rossi column is something we didn't screenshot. At the end, Rossi ties it all together saying "Crosby, Staal, and, yes, Marc-Andre Fleury" can get the Penguins another Cup. So hilarious to see people rail on MAF at every chance, but then use him as a trump card to tie together the most retarded group of paragraphs we've ever read.
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Yeah, we're Malkin fanboys. Yes, he does need to be better.
But, really, think about what all these people are trying to do.
But, really, think about what all these people are trying to do.
ARE THESE PEOPLE IDIOTS?
DID THEY WATCH THE PENGUINS WIN THE CUP IN 2009?
YOU DON'T WIN THE CUP EVERY YEAR.
SHUT THE FFFFUUUCCCKKK UPPPPP.
You want to trade Malkin for drafts picks, a winger, and a defenseman?
All of these proposed players carry nothing close to the experience or talent that Malkin has.
Something tells us the Penguins aren't going to do that.
Go Pens.
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