Once upon a time, a woman was picking up firewood. She came upon a poisonous snake frozen in the snow. She took the snake home and nursed it back to health. One day the snake bit her on the cheek. As she lay dying, she asked the snake, "Why have you done this to me?" And the snake answered, "Look, bitch, you knew I was a snake."
The snake = an NHL season right now.
We were flying high back in December: 24/7 was about to start, Pens were on an unlimited winning streak, Crosby was unstoppable, Columbus' Nationwide Arena was invaded by Pens fans.
Fast-forward to February 9th, and it is amazing how a string of unreal injuries can completely turn a season on its head and make a strong fan base turn to dust. People are throwing barbs at each other in comments sections, message boards, Twitter. It's nonstop.
Let's get one thing straight: Columbus sucks.
But the Penguins were not even in the same building last night.
Maybe it is the realization that two of its superstars aren't coming back anytime soon.
Maybe it's 'cause the Cotton Candy Guy is two injuries away from having to kill penalties.
The Pens' first line last night was Tyler Kennedy - Dustin Jeffrey - Pascal Dupuis.
No clue how anyone can be serious right now.
Tyler Kennedy was the best Penguins player on the ice. That tells you a lot.
Rick Nash had the first goal of the game. MAF went down and did the shoulder thing. Nash had one of his best games against the Pens. No shock that the Penguins had nobody playing. In every other game, he has disappeared.
what is up with Orpik's face?
Chris Kunitz did not play. He was a late scratch.
There were rumors that he caught his sac in his zipper after taking a pee. false.
Eric Godard embarrassed himself. First, his sheer lack of hockey awareness led to two turnovers. Then he got destroyed on a check and ignored the game in trying to seek revenge and took a penalty. On the delayed penalty, the Blue Jackets were able to get a critical second goal because they had pulled the goalie. We've always supported a guy like Godard, but, man, what a waste of a roster spot last night.
Speaking of selfish plays, Matt Cooke found himself in the middle of yet another controversy:
Joe D. has the argument that the hit was fine because Tyutin saw Cooke coming.
He sent this screenshot in:
No blog in the history of the Internet has stuck up more for Matt Cooke (except for when we named him one of the dirtiest Penguins ever). But that is dirty and reckless. Stunning to see Bylsma stick up for him in his post-game comments.
Not on board with defending Cooke in the least. Sorry.
A. He left his feet.
B. You can't hit a guy from behind. No way, no how. It does not matter if he saw him coming.
C. Why didn't Cooke stick-lift Tyutin and score a big goal?
We get that Matt Cooke has to "get to his game."
But he is now most likely going to be suspended for at least a few games.
Kris Letang had a really rough night. Probably trying to do too much.
Eric Tangradi almost awoke the Pens with a goal in the second period. He and Dustin Jeffrey both had okay games. Jeffrey had a rough night in the faceoff circle.
Felt bad for Marc-Andre Fleury. Really had no help.
Tyler Kennedy scored again. And Ryan Mill did the stupid KENNEDY thing again. Whatever.
Jordan Staal almost scored right after the Kennedy goal. Staal was great on faceoffs going 13 for 17.