We woke up Tuesday morning feeling pretty good. We dealt with this Chris Cooley situation and moved on to the more important matter of Eklund taking a run at Greg over at PUCK DADDY. But noooo. Washington journalists and fans had to come out of the woodwork, jumping at us because we jobbed Chris Cooley.

The funniest part about it is that all of the e-mails we received, plus the scathing columns written by journalists and bloggers rebutting our Cooley thing, somehow came up with the idea that we were insulted that Cooley's blog jobbed Crosby.

It just goes to show that they didn't even read our post.
And they are:

Dan Steinberg: Dude from The Washington Post.
Jarrett Carter: Dude who reminds us that Bleacher Report still exists.

D.J. Tanner Cooley: Chris Cooley's brother who gets paid to run his blog.

Click "Read More" for lessons as to why you should actually read stuff before posting commentary about it.

Okay, what's the first thing we said about this situation?

We've never been Crosby defenders in the history of running this blog. We've idly sat by while the Caps fans and their inferiority complex take the Bing/AO rivalry to the extreme. Nobody in Pittsburgh really cares. Pittsburgh fans are more interested in the Malkin/AO rivalry. But when a no-name tight end from the NFL sees fit to say the Pens aren't making the playoffs, that's when we get involved.

Anyone read the part where we said this isn't about Crosby? Thought so.

Unfortunately, Dan Steinberg of THE WASHINGTON POST can't read.

NATE B. photoshop = Check.

The word "jobbed" = Check.

Where did he get the idea that we jobbed Chris Cooley because D.J. Tanner Cooley bashed Crosby? Didn't we even say in the sentences before our reasoning that we don't care? It's pretty stupid when a journalist mines for quotes. And it's even more idiotic when they don't even bother to quote or paraphrase what we say; they just decide to make stuff up. Just poor work.

All in all, we respect Dan Steinberg. He's a big deal. And he looks like that dude from "ER."
We can't bash his baldness because we'll be in that boat in 15 years.

Or maybe he's doing it just to be stylish.  Nobody knows.

As a side note, in his column, he makes numerous remarks about our apparent rampant homophobia. Did he even bother doing research and going to our FAQ to see that we have three writers on this site, one of which is gay? Come on.

Next up on the ledger is Jarrett Carter from THE BLEACHER REPORT.

We put all of our energy into jobbing Dan Steinberg that we have little left for Jeff Jarrett. But it's pretty easy, so we're safe. And again, it's another case of someone who didn't bother reading what they were going to provide commentary on.

Basically, the premise of Jeff's article is that Pittsburgh fans should be quiet when talking trash with other fans because we as Pittsburgh fans don't realize how blessed we are.  Right. This is coming from someone who undoubtedly is naked while watching the NFL Network till 4:00 in the morning for updates on the NFL Combine. He represents a large faction of fans who don't realize there are other sports out there besides football.

Special delivery for Jeff Jarrett

What will probably irk you more than anything else is the condescending tone in which Jeff Jarrett's entire article is written. He rides in like an idiot thinking he has a handle on the situation. No, Jeff, you don't.

Case in point:

Again, the Crosby thing is not what is the primary focus for us.  Jesus. The topic at hand isn't how the Steelers invaded FedEx Field, either. Come on, dude. This is a rivalry stemmed from the Penguins ending the Caps' seasons year after year in the '90s. What a stupid way to end an article. When the common idiot decides to write an article and inevitably tries to tie football in to cap off said article, Jarrett Carter's work is what you get. Bank.

Interview with Chris Cooley about the situation:

P.S. -- Stop giving us credit for the photoshops. Everyone who has mentioned the photoshops say they came from us.

No, they came from our commentors.

Where is the article titled "Penguins blog upset that the freeloading brother of an NFL tight end thinks the Pens aren't making the playoffs"?  No, just put your lazy writing on exhibit and make Crosby the focal point.  Morons.

This is the last we'll talk about this crap. We job anyone who says something about the Pens. Just so happens this time it was on a NFL player's blog, and the post in question was written by his brother. Some tight ends pay their brothers to blog for and about them.  Other tight ends pay their brothers to polish their Super Bowl rings.

Go Pens