This post is not for your entertainment.
It's a message to a Pittsburgh blog called THE HUNKY & THE MICK.
Since that blog has decided in recent time to come at us in some of their posts,
as opposed to a good old-fashioned e-mail, we have to respond in the same fashion.
The blog has had these things to say:
"The Pens are in trouble and if you don't see that, then you probably started watching hockey when the Pensblog started and have no clue about what is going on." -- March 31st, 2010.
"Here is something you are not going to see in the papers or hear on the radio or read on Pensblog or any other Penguins fan site that cannot criticize their team: Jacques Lemaire is a better coach than Dan Bylsma." -- March 17th, 2010.
(Pensblog Note: FYI -- Jacques Lemaire started coaching when Bylsma was 15 years old.)
"I'm not going to go into vivid detail about how bad Fleury played because I know some schmuck who thinks everything the Pensblog says is gospel will hold onto it and decide to e-mail it to me if Fleury makes a big save in the playoffs." -- November 6, 2009 (Following the horrible Kings game this season.)
Their thoughts on making friends and networking in the blogosphere:
"It hasn't all been good. At least a few people will remember our feud with the Steel City Regurgitation Machine ('hey, someone else said this so I'm going to post it here verbatim') and our inability to get linked on the Pensblog because of their hatred of Rob Rossi and our supposed connection with him (more on that later). We could go into great detail about both of these petty arguments but I really don't want to get a call from an upset husband acting tough on the phone or have some guy with too much time on his hands photoshop a picture of us with penises by our mouths. I can sleep at night with the knowledge that if we met either one in a parking lot somewhere there would be no question who would be walking away from that fight victorious." -- July 2, 2009
(Pensblog Note: This blog was spawned in 2008 under the blog title "Suburban Rob Rossis.")
Commenting on Fedotenko while breaking down the Pens roster after winning the Cup:
"But short sighted people decided to throw him under the bus, including the supposed 'authority' on Penguins hockey, the Pensblog, who repeatedly called him "Fedostinko" during the year." -- June 30, 2009
(Pensblog Note: After an exhaustive Google search, as well as a search of our own posts, we didn't find one instance of "Fedostinko," while finding numerous instances of us acknowledging, throughout his lackluster regular season, Fedotenko's clutchness that he exhibits in playoff runs. )
"Can't forget to mention the blue uniforms. I started the rallying cry to ditch the blue uniforms last week and is appears as though other people are catching on as the Pensblog made mention of getting rid of them in their latest post. Since people are sheep and think Pensblog is the end all be all of Penguins blogs, they'll probably end up getting credit for starting the campaign, but since you can't fight stupidity there is no point in fighting that battle. But I will continue to monitor the progress of the horrible experiment regardless of where credit is given." -- January 3, 2009 (Obviously during the Pens' stinkfest while wearing the blues.)
As we mentioned, this blog's original title was "Suburban Rob Rossis."
Evidenced by these e-mails we received from them when they were starting their blog:
(Note the dates.)
As much as we're married to our Gmail account during the season,
we are that unmarried to it during the summer.
Interesting aside, though: Doing a GMail search, we found these other tidbits of greatness.
From a Penguin bloggers roundtable discussing the hiring of Dan Bylsma:
There's not too much to break down about this whole thing. A good 20 or 30 minutes spent persuing their posts lets you know that negativity reigns supreme. In a recent post, they even wished Goligoski to be injured so that Bylsma would be forced to play McKee.
In another post, they go into extensive detail regarding Marc-Andre Fleury's career-long problems with consistency. Too bad every Penguin fan knows this. No reason to be condescending and act like Penguin fans don't know this. Then again, when you describe yourselves as the "most knowledgable, non-paid sports analysts in Pennsylvania," it doesn't leave much wiggle room to not come off as condescending toward fellow Pens fans.
You keep being negative, and maybe one day you realize that no one wants to be around that shit.
No one wants to read it. We're all just watching some dudes play hockey. Get over yourself.
And all of this brings us back full circle as to why we personally started a blog. Again.
We were tired of reading nothing but negativity about the Penguins.
Newspaper columnists were reminding us of the bad things, not focusing on the good things.
We just got sick of it.
The pluses in following the Pens this year:
1. It's always a joy to follow a Pens season.
2. They're contending for a division title. AGAIN.
3. They're defending Stanley Cup champions.
4. Watching the continuing maturation of Crosby, Malkin, Fleury, Staal, etc.
5. That "etc." part in #4.
6. The excitement of moving into a new arena next year.
7. The bitter sweetness of this being Mellon Arena's last ride.
8. We fuckin love hockey.
9. Many, many more.
Why would anyone waste time typing out a bunch of negatives?
Simply typing the pluses in that list above gives us a bounce in our step.
Here's an excerpt from a recent PENSBURGH post giving March grades to every Penguin.
Talbot's March wasn't spectacular, and the D+ grade says as much.
But the analysis portion of Talbot's March gets us pumped up for the playoffs.
Would you rather read about how Talbot is a piece of shit and that he'd better start scoring,
or else the Pens are gonna be swept in the first round?
If you're watching the game and can't wait to talk or type about the negatives,
why are you even watching the games?
Seriously, how can the writers of a blog like THE HUNKY & THE MICK
even put themselves through the agony of enjoying a Pens playoff appearance?
It's journalists' jobs to do this kind of shit.
Don't pretend you're something that you're not.
Our blog has become popular.
We've never conspired or had some kind of "marketing" plan to make it popular.
We've just never acted like something we're not.
We're simply Pens fans that are following with the season along with every Pens fan. We make it to like two games a season. We like to talk about the game afterward, mention the Pens shortcomings in certain games, but not have a stroke about it. And we like to revel in a Penguins victory and share that excitement with whoever wants to read it.
The blog is what it is.
We get you in, get you out, and get you on with the rest of your day.
And there's a solid group of commenters, whose comments we read every day, no matter what.
PENSBURGH has a huge commenting section.
And we spend a good chunk of time reading those, as well.
It's just like sitting down at a bar or some shit and talking with other Pens fans.
Technology affords us this kind of experience. It's underappreciated.
We aren't an Internet "authority" on Pens fans.
We aren't sitting around touching ourselves about how many people we can reach.
We aren't trying to be journalists. We're Pens fans with a website.
We turn down radio requests and shit because we don't want that kind of voice.
We deflect any credit coming our way that a reader, blog, or e-mailer is deserving of.
And a quick browse of our comments section reveals that people don't take our shit as "gospel."
We collect anthem pics, photoshops, game pictures, stories about meeting a Penguin or going to your first Pens game; stuff that we find entertaining and, as it turns out, other Pens fans find entertaining, as well.
And how great was this recent Qdoba thing?
Seriously, it felt like it was the sole reason we started a blog in the first place.
We have one or two vent posts like this per season in regard to our blog.
The blog takes up a good portion of our daily lives during the hockey season.
And we absolutely love it. And we'll protect it.
So suck our balls.
And we're not meeting you in a parking lot.
Because that's sad.
Happy Birthday to PENS UNIVERSE.