12 Reasons We Dislike Chris Bourque
Had to be done. Why, you ask? Because it is fun. We haven't had something to gripe about since the days of Ouellet. We need this kind of stuff. No one ever said you have to be blindly in love with players just because they play on the Penguins. This isn't Steeler Nation. For the record, signing Bourque was a vintage Shero move. Low-risk, high-reward. We simply dislike Chris Bourque. Here our are reasons:
1. HE SUCKS
This is like our Zapruder film.
Seriously, watch that again.
That is just terrible. Bourque didn't want to pay the price to get that goal.
By comparison:
Dupe's goal on Saturday night.
Yeah, there was no one around him.
But still, he patiently took control of the puck and flipped the puck to his backhand.
2. HE IS RAYMOND BOURQUE'S SON.
Oh hai Ray. How many times did you make out with yourself today?
Sorry, we don't like Raymond Bourque and we never will. The way he ended his career never really sat well with us. For those of you in the dark, Bourque spent 99.9% of his career in Boston playing for the Bruins. They couldn't win a Cup. So the Bruins traded him to Colorado so he could get a shot at the Cup. And he allowed Boston to do that. What a coward. And then Avalanche franchise retired his number. If Ray was a real man, he would have declined it.
On a side note, back when 66 retired the first time, their was a game in Boston where Ray Bourque presented Buries It with a seat from the Boston Garden or something. It was before the game, and while Bourque was skating to hand him the gift, Bourque tripped over the carpet laid on the ice. We've mentioned this before, but this footage needs to be found. We know FSN has it. If they show it, we will never bash them again.
3. YOUR SWIFFER WET JET WORKS BETTER IN THE CORNERS.
Seriously, watch him next time. We don't have any video evidence to back up this claim, but that doesn't matter. First sign of a good hockey player is him/her/it taking a puck off someone in the corners. Never happened in his entire career.
4. HIS FIRST IMPRESSION.
Everyone believes in omens to an extent. Remember when MAF fell coming out of the locker room in Game 1 of the SCF back in '08? In Bourque's first game in a Pens jersey, he did some bizarre flip when he was trying to get the puck off a defender. Omen city.
5. HIS GOOGLE IMAGE PRESENCE.
This is the fourth pic you get when you Google him:
Ouch.
Next seven reasons after the jump.
Aftermath: Why Geno Is An MVP, PENS/BRUINS PICS
If we actually cared about doing recaps, we would have said this.
There is a reason Evgeni Malkin has been the MVP of the Pens the last two season. And there is a reason he should have been the MVP of the league last year.
Yahoo has an absolutely excellent feature on their player page called situational stats.
Taking one look at Malkin's [situational stats ] even early in this season shows you why his presence is not only paramount, it is a must.
A look at some of Malkin's split stats from this year.
Doesn't seem like alot, but that is only 13 games.
Last year:
39 points when the Pens were tied last year. 28 points in the last five minutes.
Last night was no different. Say what you want but having the presence to make a disgusting cross ice pass with time ticking down is a skill that cannot be taught.
It is just clutch.
Pics from last night after the jump.
I Don't Think So, Tim. PENS WIN.
We will not do a traditional recap
until Chris Bourque scores, retires, or is sent to the minors.
What happened at the end of this game shouldn't happen. A broken stick sprung the Pens on a last-second chance. Malkin steals a look at the clock at center ice and carries it in. Crosby fills the lane. Everyone forgets about Guerin. Bill Guerin puts one home with 0.4 seconds left to tie the game. Chalk up another unforgettable Mellon Arena moment. Maybe lost in the drama at the end was how great the game was to watch. The Capitals series was last year was fun. A Boston series would be better.
And chalk up another failure on FSN's part. Malkin leading a 2-on-2 rush. For some reason, the producer decides to zoom in on Malkin. Why? It robbed all of us from seeing Guerin sneaking in late. Malkin passes, and by the time the camera cuts wide, Guerin scores. Just frustrating.
Tim Thomas shitting his pants in OT was a given.
Signs of the Apocalypse:
-- Jay McKee scores.
-- Mark Eaton scores.
-- Pascal Dupuis scores twice.
-- If Chris Bourque scores, the four horsemen kill themselves.
Some pics from the game came in, and we'll post them sometime Sunday.
Guerin's goal with 0.4 left in a period has nothing on Alain Nasreddine scoring with 0.2 left. [ BOX SCORE ]
Tim Thomas shitting his pants in OT was a given.
Signs of the Apocalypse:
-- Jay McKee scores.
-- Mark Eaton scores.
-- Pascal Dupuis scores twice.
-- If Chris Bourque scores, the four horsemen kill themselves.
Some pics from the game came in, and we'll post them sometime Sunday.
Guerin's goal with 0.4 left in a period has nothing on Alain Nasreddine scoring with 0.2 left. [ BOX SCORE ]
0:48 mark.
Go Pens.
Go Home, Bourque.
kamkkmsl UPDATED
Unreal.
What a meltdown by the Bruins.
Video updates as they happen.
wddklkldl;fl;f
UPDATED:
From inside the arena:
GAMEDAY 20 - BRUINS
7:30PM
Mellon Arena
Listen to the game at [WXDX]
If you have any questions for Mike Lange, Phil Bourque or Bob Grove join the Penguins Radio Network Facebook page.
You can submit questions via the discussion tab for the Crash the Net segments or Penguins Hotline after the game.
Malkin's back. Mark Letestu's in. Kunitz is out.
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Yea Don't Get The Flu Shot
Uh.... Kunitz is shutdown for two weeks.. and the Hope returns [Trib]
And yea this is to bizarre not to share.
Thanks to [Phil Quinn]
thanks to Jeff H for the find on that.
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Conner Demoted, Stage Being Set For Malkin's Return?
Chris Conner has been returned to WBS.
"(My shoulder) feels great... It's not sore, no pain. We'll see (Saturday) at the morning skate. Maybe I’ll be playing. (Saturday) is a big day for me. We'll see after practice how my shoulder feels and if it feels good then I'll play."
-- Evgeni Malkin
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