The following is how we fully expect the media (and some fans) to react regarding Evgeni Malkin's concussion. This is not our opinion. This is a joke.
Evgeni Malkin is experiencing concussion symptoms. Or so we're told. Of course, Malkin hasn't spoken to the media directly about the injury. It's just another sign that the Russian star doesn't "get it." The injury happened YESTERDAY and we still don't have a comment from Malkin. We don't know anything about his status. We deserve to know. THE FANS deserve to know!
At this point we don't even know what type of sports car his doctors have compared him to! IS THAT FAIR!?
We don't even know if it will be like Christmas when he returns. Or maybe it will be like Russian Christmas? What do Russians do on Christmas anyway? We couldn't be bothered to do the research. It's easier to complain than to do research. Whatever it is they do, it's probably not as good as a North American Christmas. It's probably all enigmatic, brash and selfish. It's probably not a team player, either. It might even be a coach killer. We have no idea because NO ONE HAS TOLD US.
At this pont, the Penguins need to answer two things immediately: One, is Evgeni Malkin cleared to play? Two, what are the results of his latest medical tests? HE HASN'T TOLD US ANYTHING! The Penguins are keeping us in the dark! The fans deserve better than this! We don't even know what percentage he's at? 50%? 62%? 89%? No one is telling us anything. It's not right.
The Pittsburgh Penguins are bigger than Evgeni Malkin. That's not how it looks right now. The team - and Malkin himself - needs to handle this situation better. And it's not just the media and the fans that think this. It's the locker room too.
Some teammates think that Malkin should be playing or that, at least, he should be doing more to communicate with the team and the fans.
Last night, multiple sources confirmed that a team meeting was held to discuss naming a temporary alternate captain. There are stories of arguments between management and the Malkin camp. Of course, Malkin, being the enigmatic Russian that he is, HASN'T TOLD THE MEDIA OR THE FANS ANYTHING YET! He hasn't even been on Twitter! Doesn't he care about his fans? Obviously not.
We're hearing that he will likely sit out the Penguins' next game against the Lightning. Some think that it's because of his "injury" but many others think that it's because he's not a team player. Why can't Malkin play? We don't know! NO ONE HAS TOLD US! When Sidney Crosby was injured at the 2011 Winter Classic, he didn't leave the game or miss the team's next game against the Lightning! No, he went out there, got smashed into the boards by Victor Hedman, and suffered serious damage! And he finished that game too! That's what a GOOD CANADIAN KID DOES!
Malkin, the enigmatic Russian who doesn't care, doesn't get it and has no heart, grit or desire, didn't return to last night's game. How enigmatic of him. He didn't even score a goal yesterday. Chris Kunitz and Dustin Jeffrey - two good Canadian kids - scored goals. Matt Niskanen, from Virgina, Minnesota, scored a goal. Evgeni Malkin, of Magnitogorsk, Russia, couldn't even be bothered to finish the game! He needs a wake up call. It's time for Malkin to stand up and be a man.
At least when Sidney Crosby had a concussion, he did it with leadership and class. Evgeni Malkin has the most enigmatic concussion of all time. And he still hasn't spoken to every reporter and answered each and every question!
He just doesn't get it.